Mulan loved my Mulan pen!
She said, “I love things that have my face on it.”
Wow, Mulan, conceited much ;). Seems like you may have been spending some time with Gaston!
SHOOTS LIKE MULAN
WEARS MEN’S SUITS LIKE MULAN!
THINKS FAST AND KICKS ASS ON A ROOF LIKE MULAN
MULAN: “I USE AVALANCHES IN ALL OF MY BATTLE SCHEMIIIING!”
NOT QUITE A GUY, THAT MULAN!
WHEN I WAS A GIRL I DRANK 3 CUPS OF TEA
EVERY MORNING TO HELP ME GROW STRONG
NOW I’VE GROWN UP I DRINK FIVE CUPS OF TEA
AND I DEFEATED THE KING OF THE HUUUUUUUNS
This is the best thing ever.
i went to a party and put 3 whole loaves of sliced bread all around the house i put bread under the kid’s pillow and in all 3 of his bathrooms, in his rugby shorts and the breast pocket of his school shirt, on his roof and his neighbor’s roof, in his couch and on his tv i’m laughing so hard he’s going to wake up hungover tomorrow and be like why the fuck is there bread everywhere
i’m pissing myself
Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters
they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”
"Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”
"He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”
"It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”
"If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”
And, of course:
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t."
the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.